Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Your dad touched me again.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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