two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
