I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
