I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
