eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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