I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
