Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
