we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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