Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I need a beard to bite.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize