it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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