that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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