If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
