He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize