So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
