Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
