i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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