The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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