check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
