I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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