Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
