every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
