it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
