Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
