Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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