I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
