mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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