Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
