he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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