The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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