I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize