farters have to be the big spoon...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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