I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize