Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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