Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize