would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
