My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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