My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
