check it out our google latitudes are spooning
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
