There is no way he is gay with that hair.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize