with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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