I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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