I heard we made out
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
