can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
