after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He did a backflip because drugs
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