so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
