I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
