don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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