if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
