I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize