If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
