Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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