Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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