She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
