I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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