Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
