Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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