it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
