Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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