OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
